I am passionate about helping people struggling with addictive behaviours and helping to break down cultural stigma.
Hi, I'm Todd.
I'm an Integrative Counsellor and Psychotherapist based in West Yorkshire.
“The substance is not the problem, it is the solution”
The most important thing to understand is that people who are engaged in addictive behaviours are not necessarily doing so out of choice and it is classified as an illness.
It is not to say that excessive alcohol or substance misuse doesn’t create issues, but it is important to recognise that they also bring a sense of relief to the user. People engaged in addictive behaviours are trying to cope, looking to manage unprocessed trauma, restlessness, and difficult intense feelings.
Addiction is the outcome not the cause.
Addiction is not limited to drugs and alcohol, it includes excessive consumption of a variety of substances and behaviour. People can be struggling with food, gambling, porn, sex, video games, shopping, work and many more. Again, these can be attempts to sooth emotions and regulate our nervous system. Exploring and understanding behind the behaviour can help people make significant and positive changes in their life.
There are some behaviours that correlate with somebody struggling in addiction.
I am not suggesting that people struggling exhibit all of these behaviours, but they can be a good indicator you may want to seek some support:
Telltale signs and symptoms
These are just a few examples of symptomatic behaviour people struggling engage in. It is usually the case that somebody struggling may not even recognise themselves behaving this way and they will often have reasons or justifications. This is completely normal for somebody struggling and is a way of coping with intense feelings and emotions or attempting to regulate.
- Impulsive decision making
- Fluctuations in mood and behaviour
- Hiding things from your friends and loved ones
- Isolating and avoiding social events
- Bailing on commitments last minute, work, social plans, appointments.
"Does it cost you more than money?"
Loved ones of people suffering
“It’s okay for you to be struggling too, in fact it is expected.”
Addiction is a family illness. When a loved one is engaged in addictive behaviour it can be easy for all of the focus to be put on them, however family members and the people supporting that individual are often struggling too.
It is important for the loved ones supporting their family member or friends struggling to seek support, not only so they are more equipped to understand, but also because in order to productively provide support they first need to look after their own well-being.
Therapy can provide a space for you to explore your own experience and start to focus some of your energy back into your own well-being. I have professional experience working with family members and loved ones of those suffering in addiction. I have run support groups and provided 1-2-1 interventions helping people gain understanding around addictive behaviour, how they can best support their loved one and also start to look after themselves.
